Marriage Counseling: The Way of Compromise

Married couples are sure to know a thing or two about the feeling of being on the losing side of an argument. This is a situation wherein an individual’s sense of reason is more often than not trumped by frustration, as told in the The Gottman Institute relationship blog. Most married couples find it really difficult to wiggle their way out a messy squabble. Still, there’s hope of managing all conflict, and it’s summed up in one word: compromise.

Contrary to popular belief, compromise doesn’t always mean that one loses and one wins. This is a common misconception that hinders most couples’ ability to compromise with each other, mostly because people are often used to deciding based on their own satisfaction.

A proper compromise requires impeccable teamwork. Sure, one may benefit and the other may need to let go of a specific preference or need, but in a marriage, the bond itself should be held in the highest regard above personal preferences and even pride. As conventional knowledge would tell, “two heads are better than one” in terms of making decisions that benefit the greater good.

When it comes to couple teamwork, there is another critical factor that should never be ignored: listening. After one person has properly expressed and explained all personal desires, they must then be prepared to listen to the other as well, and sometimes to drill down and find out just why something is so important to your spouse that they feel they cannot compromise. One must be able to show their spouse that the their needs and wants are deeply valued, too.