It Can Happen to Anyone.

No marriage is immune to infidelity! Bad people in bad marriages have affairs and good people in good marriages have affairs. Affairs occur because both parties have lost the trust, the friendship and the emotional connection they once had. Growing resentments over these losses cause spouses to be more vulnerable to the attentions of others or to actively seek the attention and the comfort they have lost.

What to Do?

Get help!

For 30 years, John Sherwood of Sherwood Couples Counseling has been helping couples repair the emotional losses that occur from infidelity and to help couples recover the trust and the friendship they once had.

He states that when couples are able to talk about all aspects of the affair they begin to understand more fully how unmet needs and unresolved injuries of the past created an emotional climate of disengagement that ultimately led to the affair. He goes on to say that through difficult, honest and respectful communication, couples can succeed in building a new foundation of trust and understanding that will lead to the restoration of the trust and friendship they had before the affair.

Talking about the affair is difficult and one or both parties often think that the best way to put the affair behind them is to never talk about it again They rationalize that it happened, that it can’t be undone and that talking about it just makes things worse.”

This strategy only leads to resignation, growing anger, emotional isolation, more mistrust and the perpetuation of the broken communication that lead to the affair in the first place. This avoidance strategy increases the likelihood of another affair, an eventual divorce, or worse, living forever in a joyless marriage.

Reasons Why and Solutions

It’s helpful to realize that affairs don’t just happen. They are the result of the growing emotional distance that happens when couples turn away from each other as they try to negotiate and satisfy their own emotional needs along with the multiple needs of the family and their intimate relationship.

Couples who are struggling with an affair must realize that affairs are caused by the failure of honest and respectful communication and the habitual avoidance of the conflicts in their relationship.

Restoring and building sound, effective communication skills will help every couple suffering from the effects of an affair to build a new relationship of trust, confidence and hope.